This was originally shared to my Facebook Timeline around 1:30am on Wednesday, November 3. It is posted on my blog for record.

America is home to 3,000-some counties, each with their own peculiar way of doing things, like how often they update their ballot counts, who updates them and where they update them. One of the most fiercely fiesty jurisdictions in America is Delaware County of Pennsylvania. Indeed, all of Pennsylvania's counties have the tendency to just not follow directions well. It's why New Jersey's turnpike is so strict--they want to punish Pennsylvania joyriders for making their lives miserable all the time. This really bad tendency to not take directions well also drives producers at national news outlets insane every four years, because no one really knows how that crazy place will end up voting. I blame the Shoefly Pie.

But I digress. Basically, millions of the potentially 7 million ballots in the state that Maryland lost a war to *right before* independence (lolz) have not been tabulated. Many of those votes are in blue constituencies or constituencies that don't exactly leap at the idea of a man grabbing their cheerleaders by their genitals. The point is: there is likely a red mirage at work.

Look closely at vote totals and trends nationwide, they generally follow the pattern of 2018--that southern states that should never have been in play are much closer than usual, and that increasingly the paths for Trump to win are not materializing.

Take it easy, and please: *STOP* texting me for political updates. I am sleeping. I have gotten out of bed twice now, and found 121 messages (seriously, what the hell is wrong with all of you?!). I want to sleep. God didn't give me Brad Pitt's looks or Salman Khan's abs. I must sleep to earn either.